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this workplace
THIS. WORKPLACE.
[One week ago]
Me: I'm getting a Certificate Error when trying to connect to system X, could someone please check the certificate?
[Six days later, after assorted disclaimers that it's not the certificates in System X, it's not the IP address, it's not the port, oh wait, the port isn't correct, it's not System X's problem, System X can send perfectly to you, have you checked the IP address, have you checked the port, can the network people check the port, please check the IP address, oh there were IP address changes, let's restart the server, can you try again?
[Yesterday]
Me: Still getting a Certificate Error when trying to connect to system X.
Tech: Would someone please check the certificate?
Me: *headdesk*
--
Note: User Testers are people who use the system on a daily basis. Their input is important, but it should be taken at the start of development, and they should never be allowed to dictate whether or not something is "finished".
(When have you ever been satisfied with how a system works? Really? If you had someone telling you that you could have any modification you wanted just by asking? Really?)
User Tester: This doesn't work perfectly!
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: Actually, it's better to go through the entire round of testing, flagging this as something to work on and then you get an idea of where else needs fixi--
Business Tester: No! Fix it now!
Me: *fixes it*
User Tester: But it still doesn't work perfectly!
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: This is how it's written in the spec.
Business Tester: Well, the spec's wrong. You interpreted the spec wrong. It doesn't work.
Me: Actually, it works, it just doesn't work perfectly.
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: *headdesk*
Note: System Testers are people who are here to check that everything works according to spec, to try and make sure we haven't left holes that the user can fall through. They're usually professionals called in, and generally don't have a sense of the business - they're supposed to get that from the Business Testers, working in concert together.
System Tester: This field is empty, but it's marked as mandatory.
Me: A 'mandatory' field just means it has to exist in the message. It can be empty, so long as it exists.
System Tester: But this is a major issue! It says this field is mandatory but it's not being filled. What if they send something empty through?
Me: We'll have to rely on the source system to fill it.
System Tester: Shouldn't you have coded for possible empty fields?
Me: Not when the source system tells us that this field will always be filled and the target system won't load the record if the field isn't filled.
System Tester: This isn't right. You should change the interface so there's an error.
Me: *headdesk*
System Tester: Dear Tech, please do this thing.
Tech: Exactly what is this thing that you are asking me to do?
System Tester: I don't know. SelDear, what is this thing that I am asking him to do?
Me: *headdesk*
Project Manager: You're going to have to keep a lid on all the requests from the User Testers.
Me: Um. Isn't that your job?
Project Manager: Yes, but I have no pull in this organisation.
Me: You realise that I have no sway with the Business Testers and no interaction with the User Testers...
Project Manager: Well, you should try to keep a lid on it anyway.
Me: *headdesk*
The last two months since I came back from work have been a merry-go-round of organisational incompetence, with deadlines that are swept away like cobwebs, and people who can only see the small picture.
The thing is, I usually only have to look at the small picture - my organisation has people who usually manage the bigger picture and keep it from overflowing onto me.
Not this time.
So.
*headdesk*
And yesterday, I checked my work calendar, and the work that I was due to be on from the 23rd November is being renegotiated.
So I could be here forever, stuck screaming inside my brain at the project that never ends.
[One week ago]
Me: I'm getting a Certificate Error when trying to connect to system X, could someone please check the certificate?
[Six days later, after assorted disclaimers that it's not the certificates in System X, it's not the IP address, it's not the port, oh wait, the port isn't correct, it's not System X's problem, System X can send perfectly to you, have you checked the IP address, have you checked the port, can the network people check the port, please check the IP address, oh there were IP address changes, let's restart the server, can you try again?
[Yesterday]
Me: Still getting a Certificate Error when trying to connect to system X.
Tech: Would someone please check the certificate?
Me: *headdesk*
--
Note: User Testers are people who use the system on a daily basis. Their input is important, but it should be taken at the start of development, and they should never be allowed to dictate whether or not something is "finished".
(When have you ever been satisfied with how a system works? Really? If you had someone telling you that you could have any modification you wanted just by asking? Really?)
User Tester: This doesn't work perfectly!
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: Actually, it's better to go through the entire round of testing, flagging this as something to work on and then you get an idea of where else needs fixi--
Business Tester: No! Fix it now!
Me: *fixes it*
User Tester: But it still doesn't work perfectly!
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: This is how it's written in the spec.
Business Tester: Well, the spec's wrong. You interpreted the spec wrong. It doesn't work.
Me: Actually, it works, it just doesn't work perfectly.
Business Tester: It must work perfectly! Fix it and we'll retest it.
Me: *headdesk*
Note: System Testers are people who are here to check that everything works according to spec, to try and make sure we haven't left holes that the user can fall through. They're usually professionals called in, and generally don't have a sense of the business - they're supposed to get that from the Business Testers, working in concert together.
System Tester: This field is empty, but it's marked as mandatory.
Me: A 'mandatory' field just means it has to exist in the message. It can be empty, so long as it exists.
System Tester: But this is a major issue! It says this field is mandatory but it's not being filled. What if they send something empty through?
Me: We'll have to rely on the source system to fill it.
System Tester: Shouldn't you have coded for possible empty fields?
Me: Not when the source system tells us that this field will always be filled and the target system won't load the record if the field isn't filled.
System Tester: This isn't right. You should change the interface so there's an error.
Me: *headdesk*
System Tester: Dear Tech, please do this thing.
Tech: Exactly what is this thing that you are asking me to do?
System Tester: I don't know. SelDear, what is this thing that I am asking him to do?
Me: *headdesk*
Project Manager: You're going to have to keep a lid on all the requests from the User Testers.
Me: Um. Isn't that your job?
Project Manager: Yes, but I have no pull in this organisation.
Me: You realise that I have no sway with the Business Testers and no interaction with the User Testers...
Project Manager: Well, you should try to keep a lid on it anyway.
Me: *headdesk*
The last two months since I came back from work have been a merry-go-round of organisational incompetence, with deadlines that are swept away like cobwebs, and people who can only see the small picture.
The thing is, I usually only have to look at the small picture - my organisation has people who usually manage the bigger picture and keep it from overflowing onto me.
Not this time.
So.
*headdesk*
And yesterday, I checked my work calendar, and the work that I was due to be on from the 23rd November is being renegotiated.
So I could be here forever, stuck screaming inside my brain at the project that never ends.