For what it's worth, I think I self-censor a little bit but also, on the whole, I don't just feel depressed or angry or frustrated very often... especially 'for no reason'.
I suppose all I can offer you are some thoughts on why I don't think I feel those things or how I've dealt with them when I have. Maybe some of the techniques can help you... assuming you actually want to *not* feel these things rather than just be told that everyone else feels them and they're just not LJ-ing them or that you should/can just keep on ranting - which is fine by me, of course, but maybe not for you. :)
I think the three key things for me and my generally pretty happy life are:
1.) High Internal Locus of Control 2.) Basic NLP Techniques 3.) A Sense of Perspective
High Internal Locus of Control: It's thought that people who have a high internal locus of control are generally happier and more content in their lives. This technical term (hope I'm not teaching you to such eggs - apologies if I am) means people who think that they personally have a large element of control over themselves and their lives and that their actions really do have consequences (both good and bad).
For me, this translates to being aware that everything I do is a choice and I have a responsibility to make that choice. Sometimes it's a pretty obvious choice - to continue to be friends with people I care about or to never speak to them again (!) and sometimes it's less obvious - to stay in a contract I hate but that pays well. I make the obvious choices every day without thinking about them too much but I'm still making them. The less obvious choices, I have to do the best I can with the evidence I have and then deal with the consequences; sometimes I'll get it right and sometimes I'll get it wrong but either way, I learn more about myself, the people around me and how I make better choices.
Most importantly is realising the power and responsibility I personally hold. I have enormous power to guide my own life in a lot of things but with that comes the recognition that I also have a responsibility to myself to make good choices.
Finally, sometimes you really don't have control over the situation but in these cases, you can generally have control over how you react to them especially if they're not super-serious. This has helped me at work when people do dumb things. I *could* get annoyed and frustrated but I could also just laugh about it and move on. I can choose.
Basic NLP Techniques: Again with the 'sucking eggs' thing if you've done any psychology but NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is, I think, around making immediate changes to your life through just acting as you think someone without whatever issue you have would act and consiously reprogramming how you think (such as shutting up that annoying internal voice that tells you you're crap). Sometimes, if something really shitty has happened to you in the past (rape, abandonment, bereavement etc.), you have to work through it in the standard ways of talking about it and trying to come to terms with the base issue... this, of course, can take years. NLP is a more immediate solution that (IMHO) probably only works with less major issues whereby you just say "How would a happy/sorted/not depressed person deal with this?". Often it helps to imagine a real or well known imaginary character. How would my admired-best-mate-or-family-member deal with this? How would Sam Carter deal with this? And then just copy that person's actions. I know that, for example, NLP has been quite effective for people trying to lose weight. If you just start thinking and acting like a slim person, you become slim. For you, if you just start acting like someone who's outgoing, bright-eyed and happy, maybe you can become that person even if it feels a little forced and unnatural at the start. This worked very well for me when I was younger and massively lacking confidence... I just pretended I was confident and over the years, the fakeness disappeared.
no subject
I suppose all I can offer you are some thoughts on why I don't think I feel those things or how I've dealt with them when I have. Maybe some of the techniques can help you... assuming you actually want to *not* feel these things rather than just be told that everyone else feels them and they're just not LJ-ing them or that you should/can just keep on ranting - which is fine by me, of course, but maybe not for you. :)
I think the three key things for me and my generally pretty happy life are:
1.) High Internal Locus of Control
2.) Basic NLP Techniques
3.) A Sense of Perspective
High Internal Locus of Control:
It's thought that people who have a high internal locus of control are generally happier and more content in their lives. This technical term (hope I'm not teaching you to such eggs - apologies if I am) means people who think that they personally have a large element of control over themselves and their lives and that their actions really do have consequences (both good and bad).
For me, this translates to being aware that everything I do is a choice and I have a responsibility to make that choice. Sometimes it's a pretty obvious choice - to continue to be friends with people I care about or to never speak to them again (!) and sometimes it's less obvious - to stay in a contract I hate but that pays well. I make the obvious choices every day without thinking about them too much but I'm still making them. The less obvious choices, I have to do the best I can with the evidence I have and then deal with the consequences; sometimes I'll get it right and sometimes I'll get it wrong but either way, I learn more about myself, the people around me and how I make better choices.
Most importantly is realising the power and responsibility I personally hold. I have enormous power to guide my own life in a lot of things but with that comes the recognition that I also have a responsibility to myself to make good choices.
Finally, sometimes you really don't have control over the situation but in these cases, you can generally have control over how you react to them especially if they're not super-serious. This has helped me at work when people do dumb things. I *could* get annoyed and frustrated but I could also just laugh about it and move on. I can choose.
Basic NLP Techniques:
Again with the 'sucking eggs' thing if you've done any psychology but NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is, I think, around making immediate changes to your life through just acting as you think someone without whatever issue you have would act and consiously reprogramming how you think (such as shutting up that annoying internal voice that tells you you're crap). Sometimes, if something really shitty has happened to you in the past (rape, abandonment, bereavement etc.), you have to work through it in the standard ways of talking about it and trying to come to terms with the base issue... this, of course, can take years. NLP is a more immediate solution that (IMHO) probably only works with less major issues whereby you just say "How would a happy/sorted/not depressed person deal with this?". Often it helps to imagine a real or well known imaginary character. How would my admired-best-mate-or-family-member deal with this? How would Sam Carter deal with this? And then just copy that person's actions. I know that, for example, NLP has been quite effective for people trying to lose weight. If you just start thinking and acting like a slim person, you become slim. For you, if you just start acting like someone who's outgoing, bright-eyed and happy, maybe you can become that person even if it feels a little forced and unnatural at the start. This worked very well for me when I was younger and massively lacking confidence... I just pretended I was confident and over the years, the fakeness disappeared.
CONTINUED...