And not only unaccepting parents, but sometimes an abusive partner from whom they've managed to keep the pregnancy...a pregnancy, and now child, that could tie them to that person FOREVER.
I have a friend who broke up for the last time (at age 29) with a ne'er-do-well...and then found out she was pregnant. By the time she knew she was pregnant, she did not have time to get access to abortion before she passed the legal limits, and she was strongly considering placing the child for adoption. She kept the pregnancy from everyone until she was 8 1/2 months. Her family refused to allow her to do so without telling the father (said they'd call and tell him if she didn't), and so she informed him that she was planning to arrange an adoption within one of their families for the child. The Ex, who still wanted her back, insisted that HE would keep the child in order to try to pressure my friend into getting back together with him. She never did get back together with him (and he got married last year, finally, like 5 years later), though she has remained involved in the child's life. By the time the child was 2, the Ex was saying, "This didn't work out like I'd planned." From the time he assumed custody, he lived with his parents (who did most of the child-rearing), moved out of state a year ago in the middle of 1st grade without telling my friend, and now this summer the child is staying with the grandparents because the Ex and his wife neither can be bothered to arrange to parent him during summer vacation. It's just....sad and bad for everyone...and one of the reasons that I believe that safe haven laws are valuable--to prevent just such situations like this.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-06-11 10:41 pm (UTC)I have a friend who broke up for the last time (at age 29) with a ne'er-do-well...and then found out she was pregnant. By the time she knew she was pregnant, she did not have time to get access to abortion before she passed the legal limits, and she was strongly considering placing the child for adoption. She kept the pregnancy from everyone until she was 8 1/2 months. Her family refused to allow her to do so without telling the father (said they'd call and tell him if she didn't), and so she informed him that she was planning to arrange an adoption within one of their families for the child. The Ex, who still wanted her back, insisted that HE would keep the child in order to try to pressure my friend into getting back together with him. She never did get back together with him (and he got married last year, finally, like 5 years later), though she has remained involved in the child's life. By the time the child was 2, the Ex was saying, "This didn't work out like I'd planned." From the time he assumed custody, he lived with his parents (who did most of the child-rearing), moved out of state a year ago in the middle of 1st grade without telling my friend, and now this summer the child is staying with the grandparents because the Ex and his wife neither can be bothered to arrange to parent him during summer vacation. It's just....sad and bad for everyone...and one of the reasons that I believe that safe haven laws are valuable--to prevent just such situations like this.