nervous

Nov. 12th, 2004 10:43 am
seldear: (Default)
[personal profile] seldear
I finally posted 'Secrets and Shadows' after sitting on it for more or less two months. It would have been nice to get it out just after I finished it, but 'twas not to be.

It's funny how things get you nervous. I'm nervous about the response to the story, not just because I've done the 'cliche' thing as far as the story plot and resolution goes, but also because I cast a character I don't like as the bad guy.

There's always the fear of 'unreasonable demonisation' - although people will be unreasonable about any bad implication when they have their heart set on a character: witness one person's line-by-line pick-apart of a story where I had Pete going through Sam's things for some inkling into her life at the SGC. She objected to the idea that a police detective would search his girlfriend's house without a warrant. Oh the irony.

I guess, if anything makes me sad about my writing, it's that the stuff that people remember and want more of is not usually the stuff that I think is the best written or my best work. 'Forged Steel', 'Trilithons', 'Symbiosis', 'Hostage Situation' - I'll bet most people would hardly remember those stories, mostly because it was more about the situation and the characters in them, than the angst or the romance or the fluff or the humour.

It's nice to have gifts in that area, but, snob that I am, I've always felt it would be better to be able to write whatever genre one set one's mind to - to be able to design a story, craft it, and have people take it as that genre, without reference to what one usually writes. Guess I just dislike being pigeonholed. And, technically, money is not made by writing 'new stuff' - one takes a genre and runs with it. Which probably scuttles any professional writing ideas I ever had right about now.

I've fretted a lot about 'Secrets and Shadows' and how people would take it, whether anyone whom I wanted to read it would read it (and given the lack of feedback or commentary from this quarter, I believe the answer is safely: no) and whether I did a good job with it. Part of me seems to believe that 73,000 words on a fanfic is a horrid waste, while 30,000 or so is quite acceptable. Go figure.

Anyway, it's out there. It's done. Take a bow, watch the curtain fall, thank you very much, goodnight.

And now I have to write 2000 words for NaNo. I hope Sabine is up to evading the Eandlic's groping hands.

Date: 2004-11-17 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] georgierae.livejournal.com
Sel, i've read the 3rd in the 'series' & can't find the first 2! any chance you can email me them? only i *love* it!!

Date: 2004-11-17 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seldearslj.livejournal.com
I've sent you the first two parts in a doc file by email.

Although you should be able to find it in the archives of any of the lists on which it was posted.

Date: 2004-11-18 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] georgierae.livejournal.com
i know, but i'm lazy! ... that's probably *not* the best argument in the world i know, but thank you anyways!!

G xx

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