Christmas post

[seldear]

Screened comments below: leave your name and address if you'd like a Christmas card from moi! You don't have to send one in return if you're worried about postage to Australia, but if you'd like a card, let me know where to send it!

Also leave a comment if you want to send me a card and haven't got my mailing address. I haven't been checking my flist quite so regularly of late, so I may have missed your post.

If there's one downside to my time on the internet, it's that it has very much secularised me. Four years ago, I was a regular church attender, in a home group, and active in my local church. I tried to read the Bible daily and find time to pray first or last thing in the day.

There are people who would say that my cessation of such activities is good. That I've gotten out from being 'religious' and have an open mind to other ideas, etc, so on, and so forth.

I don't know about that.

These days, I feel...jaded. Not cynical, exactly, just as though a lot of the shine in life is gone. I still believe that God is ruler of the universe and that he sent a particle of his spirit in Jesus to become human so we could relate to him better. But there's little beauty about it. I don't have the enthusiasm I see of others on my flist - and, as a general rule, Australia isn't a country where God and religion are casually in the background of politics or holiday celebrations.

Sometimes, I'd like that joy back.

My sisters have passion and fervour when it comes to their faith. And I sit back and watch them because I don't feel moved in the same way as they do.

Through the internet, I've met great people and horrible people, and seen more of human nature by watching and participating in mailing lists, fandoms, and LJ that reaffirms my world view; I've learned about writing and storytelling and that I do need encouragement along the journey of writing, or I don't get anything done. I've learned that fandom folks want the happy and fluffy, not the thoughtful and deep, and that the limits of my writing generally makes people think (which is considered a sin the whole world through - how dare people think!) rather than making them go *SQUEE!*

And so, Christmas again.

If I could have one Christmas wish, it would be to find my faith again. I lost my faith in myself a long time ago, and I lost my faith in humankind in the last couple of years; but I'd really like my faith in God back. Life is better with it than without.

Comments

[kuchenhexe.livejournal.com]

Hiya... peeked over from FFR.

If I could have one Christmas wish, it would be to find my faith again. I lost my faith in myself a long time ago, and I lost my faith in humankind in the last couple of years; but I'd really like my faith in God back. Life is better with it than without.

That's a feeling I know well. For me, my faith comes and goes in spurts. It's hard to maintain it when there's nowhere to maintain it. It's hard to find a church here in the Southern United States where I feel comfortable and accepted, and where there's an interpreter for the deaf. I've attended services where I've gone in, sat down through the sermon, and left without anyone noticing me. I should probably get off my duff and find out where the meetings for the Quaker church in town are held, since between then and now, I've come to realize my beliefs are more closely aligned with those. But I still have my own personal issues with God from a variety of other reasons.

But that... cyncial apathy and the loss of joy... that's something I can relate to. There's a song which I discovered a couple years ago, and when I read it, it blew me away and brought back that delicious little thrill of wonder for Christmas for me. Maybe it will do the same for you.

The Perfect Tree
Ray Boltz (http://www.rayboltz.com/)

The ornaments are ready,
The place has been prepared.
Strings of lights and holly
Are draped across the chair.
The family’s all together,
I know where they must be.
Everyone is searching
For the perfect tree.

The perfect tree
Grew very long ago,
And it was not decked with silver,
Or with ornaments of gold.
But hanging from its branches
Was a gift for you and me,
Jesus laid His life down
On the perfect tree.

Mother wants a straight one,
The children want it tall.
Dad just hopes that somehow
He can get it down the hall.
Soon they’ll gather round it,
As proud as they can be,
But when they’re looking at it,
I wonder if they see

The perfect tree
Grew very long ago,
And it was not decked with silver,
Or with ornaments of gold.
But hanging from its branches
Was a gift for you and me,
Jesus laid His life down
On the perfect tree.

With all the celebrations,
Sometimes the truth is lost,
That every step this baby took
Brought Him closer to the cross.

The perfect tree
Grew very long ago,
And it was not decked with silver,
Or with ornaments of gold.
But hanging from its branches
Was a gift for you and me,
Jesus laid His life down
On the perfect tree.

The perfect tree
Grew very long ago,
And it was not decked with silver,
Or with ornaments of gold.
But hanging from its branches
Was a gift for you and me,
Jesus laid His life down
On the perfect tree.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that! Yes, it definitely helped.