bits and bobs

[seldear]

Finally saw BSG: Exodus I. Have to get around to seeing Exodus II before too long. Actually, have to catch up with a lot of things.

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"Baby Got Back" - Gilbert and Sullivan style

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My youngest sister is still being a brat.

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And on the horns of a dilemma...

"sweetheart, u r always too busy to see me! don't u love me anymore?"

This was messaged me from a guy I have been out with a grand total of four times in four months.

Four times. In four months.

Yeesh. What is it with men? Am I supposed to drop everything and pant when he's got a moment free?

The reason I'm too busy to see him until next week? I'm trying to finish a couple of zine stories before the 21st, attending gym classes after work, going to see Swan Lake (the all-male version) Wednesday, having drinks with a bunch of bloggers Thursday, and would really like a little time to sit down and breathe amidst all this.

Now, the tricky question: how to politely tell him, "Mate, you're clearly way too much maintenance for me, whatever relationship you think we have is over."

I'm open to suggestions.

Comments

[pixiesio.livejournal.com]

You'd think he'd've got the hint with one date per month that you have other things in your life and he's not the end-all-be-all. *shakes head*

No idea what you could say as I suck at romantical relationships to begin with. ;P

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Some people need a clue-by-four upside the head to get a hint.

I'm presently wondering if I can take the 'ignore him entirely' tack. :-/

[kyronae.livejournal.com]

"You'd think he'd've got the hint with one date per month that you have other things in your life and he's not the end-all-be-all. *shakes head*"

Not to mention that his grammar is horrible. That's a deal breaker in and of itself.

It's somewhat overused, but there's nothing wrong with telling him, "It wasn't personal, but I'm just realizing that I'm not interested in a relationship right now." You don't have to tell him that it's him you're not interested in.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I can pass it in a text message on a phone - my sister does the shorthand sometimes.

I'm thinking I might have to give the "you do know this is just friends, right?" spiel.

[stef94.livejournal.com]

"Mate, I never loved you to begin with" might be a bit harsh, but then he's already proven to be FRAKKIN BLIND, cos if one date per month isn't sending clear signals of only marginal interest, I don't know what it!

Good luck with that one *hugs*

BSG, must continue rewatching, because I *heart* it so :-)

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I'm busy, we don't have a lot of common interests... He's an "out all the time" kind of person, as you know, I'm a major introvert. And I just realised, I haven't seen him since December.

Which should suggest that, really, this isn't a high priority.

[stef94.livejournal.com]

And he's obviously stupid to boot.. although when he's the "out all the time" kinda guy, he might have a problem letting go of his 'conquests' before he's actually fully 'conquered' them, if you get my drift..

But yeah, guys are clueless.. and pushy.. and refuse to take no for an answer.. *glares at phone that has =another= message from the ex*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wondered about the whole 'keeps on calling' thing.

ARGH.

*hugs* Your ex, at least, has the excuse that he might still care about you, even if you need time away.

It's not even the messaging - a "hey, haven't caught up in a while, wanna meet?" is vastly different to "[familiar endearment], don't you love me anymore?"

[stef94.livejournal.com]

It's not even the messaging - a "hey, haven't caught up in a while, wanna meet?" is vastly different to "[familiar endearment], don't you love me anymore?"

I know, which leads me to believe he is of the 'need to conquer before letting go' type.
*HUGS*

The ex is doing the "but I looooooove you!"-thing, which drives me around the bend.
I told him in no uncertain terms that I am not in a place to deal with a relationship, I barely have headspace to deal with my RL friendships (who are slightly more important to me at this point, because I've known them forever and they've proven their worth as my safety net). What makes him think that his whining and trying to change my mind is going to help that situation?!?
Idjit!

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to wonder about that, actually. He was calling me 'sweetheart' after the second time we met up. It took me aback - that was for sure!

Can you tell him you love him back, but given your psychological state, actually being in a relationship with him is more likely to turn love sour than to preserve it?

[jeyla4ever.livejournal.com]

No, no, no...you are looking at this the wrong way.....say to him...hmmmm....

"Mate, can I help it that I"m so wanted by so many?

*you can word that better than I can, but you get the point*

I woudln't close those on yourself...this could turn out to be a good friend, or who knows...that is, unless you want to "break" the relationship all together...

If he's really pushy, then I'd either go along with it...or break it nicely!

Something like,

If seeing you once a month is not enough for you, mate, then..love by your standards is just not there!

Hehehehe!

Maybe a bit too harsh! Oy, I haven't done this in awhile.....

Actually, I turn hubby down all the time...LOL

[venom69.livejournal.com]

Tell him you're becoming a lesbian.

Oooh, or tell him you're having the operation done and if he still wants to see you when you're 'Steve', you're open to it.

Or just tell him to piss off. *g*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Totally evil - I love it!

[venom69.livejournal.com]

We do try!

[sharim.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

Boy troubles huh?

*g*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Of the "DO NOT WANT" variety.

If you get online tonight, ping me. :)

[sharim.livejournal.com]

*ping*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*pong*

[sharim.livejournal.com]

| .

(playing ping pong now!)

[sharim.livejournal.com]

Also, I read the title of this post as bits and boobs and was like WTF? until i figured out my mistake ;)

[cheekygal.livejournal.com]

I must watch that youtube clip once I get home from work. If you want a real cackle, search "March of the Librarians" at some point. See the glamorous side of library association national meetings. ;)

Now, the tricky question: how to politely tell him, "Mate, you're clearly way too much maintenance for me, whatever relationship you think we have is over."

See, I think this is about as polite as you should be with this guy! ;)

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*giggles @ March of the Librarians*

Hilarious!

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

WHY DO YOU HATE JANEWAY?!? WHY?!?

[beefree88.livejournal.com]

how to politely tell him, "Mate, you're clearly way too much maintenance for me, whatever relationship you think we have is over."

How about the truth? "Mate, I'm not interested in you, whatever relationship you think we have is over." ? He should realize you're feeding him excuses, but apparently he doesn't, so tell him the truth for a change.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I haven't been feeding him excuses.

I've been too busy to meet up. Or generally uninclined. It's not a comment on him, it's a comment on my social life in general.

However, the whole "sweetheart" thing, combined with the passive-aggressive nature of the question "don't you love me anymore?" is inducing me to back away.

[beefree88.livejournal.com]

I've been too busy to meet up
Well, you know the saying "if there's a will there's a way" ;)
You don't have to like his company. You tried, gave a chance to work, but it didn't. It happens.
It's a good thing that you keep trying, and surely it'll pay off sooner or later.

Re: Amen, sistah

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It sorted out in the end.