right, so...responsible adulthood?
Jun. 26th, 2010 08:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seldearSo, um, somewhere along the way, I seem to have turned into a Responsible Adult (according to ![[personal profile]](https://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thefourthvine's poll.
I can find a job if I lost mine - or, at least, formulate ways to get money, I can work out what to do in a crisis, I can pay bills and keep a house moderately clean (well, clean enough for me to live in, which may not say much), lay hands on paperwork and finance things according to the phases of the moon (ie. sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze), care for a cat, arrange to get my car to the mechanic's, my cat to the vet, my bod to the doctor's, and my teeth to the dentist - with me attached, naturally.
If you handed me a dead body that just had to be hidden, I could probably come up with a way to dispose of it. Does that make me a Responsible Adult? Or possibly just a Closet Sociopath? Actually, I wouldn't be a sociopath, because I would feel sincerely guilty and regretful that I had to break the law, but I'd still do it if I thought the need was great enough. Is there a word for that?
(Yes, I have considered how to dispose of a dead body before. Don't go poking in any of my compost heaps; do you really want to know where the skeletons are buried? Oh, wait. NOW YOU DO.)
From the viewpoint of a(n alleged) Responsible Adult, I don't know. I still don't feel 'grown up'.
Does it change when you develop a long-term partnership? Does it change when you have a child? I mean, I have a full-time job, a house, an investment property, a car, a cat, two sisters, a household, medical insurance, a mobile phone, two non-maxed credit cards, a savings account, I plan holidays and weekends, return my books on time (except for when I rack up $17 in library fees), and occasionally clean my room without either my mother or my sisters harassing me...
Maybe it's just a different level of bar, but my life doesn't feel particularly responsible to me. I'm not sure what Responsible Adults do in the imaginary overlay that lies on top of my reality, but...somehow what I do doesn't count towards Responsible Adult status. It just...doesn't.
Also, is the alternative to Responsible Adulthood, Irresponsible Adulthood, or Responsible Childhood, or Irresponsible Childhood, or something else? One can certainly be an adult and irresponsible....
...finally, I am kind of worried that I am one of five people who checked the "I don't. Not ever. For $700, you can take my seminar and you too will ALWAYS BE A WINNER at adulthood!" ticky box for the question When you fail at adulthood, what do you do? (I did it for the LULZ! And because, hey, if 355 people would pay me $700 to ALWAYS BE A WINNER, I could go on that trip to Europe next year - FORWARD PLANNING AND CUNNING THINKING, I HAS IT. Oh, God, I think I may be a Responsible Adult! *flails*)
thefourthvine's poll.I can find a job if I lost mine - or, at least, formulate ways to get money, I can work out what to do in a crisis, I can pay bills and keep a house moderately clean (well, clean enough for me to live in, which may not say much), lay hands on paperwork and finance things according to the phases of the moon (ie. sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze), care for a cat, arrange to get my car to the mechanic's, my cat to the vet, my bod to the doctor's, and my teeth to the dentist - with me attached, naturally.
If you handed me a dead body that just had to be hidden, I could probably come up with a way to dispose of it. Does that make me a Responsible Adult? Or possibly just a Closet Sociopath? Actually, I wouldn't be a sociopath, because I would feel sincerely guilty and regretful that I had to break the law, but I'd still do it if I thought the need was great enough. Is there a word for that?
(Yes, I have considered how to dispose of a dead body before. Don't go poking in any of my compost heaps; do you really want to know where the skeletons are buried? Oh, wait. NOW YOU DO.)
From the viewpoint of a(n alleged) Responsible Adult, I don't know. I still don't feel 'grown up'.
Does it change when you develop a long-term partnership? Does it change when you have a child? I mean, I have a full-time job, a house, an investment property, a car, a cat, two sisters, a household, medical insurance, a mobile phone, two non-maxed credit cards, a savings account, I plan holidays and weekends, return my books on time (except for when I rack up $17 in library fees), and occasionally clean my room without either my mother or my sisters harassing me...
Maybe it's just a different level of bar, but my life doesn't feel particularly responsible to me. I'm not sure what Responsible Adults do in the imaginary overlay that lies on top of my reality, but...somehow what I do doesn't count towards Responsible Adult status. It just...doesn't.
Also, is the alternative to Responsible Adulthood, Irresponsible Adulthood, or Responsible Childhood, or Irresponsible Childhood, or something else? One can certainly be an adult and irresponsible....
...finally, I am kind of worried that I am one of five people who checked the "I don't. Not ever. For $700, you can take my seminar and you too will ALWAYS BE A WINNER at adulthood!" ticky box for the question When you fail at adulthood, what do you do? (I did it for the LULZ! And because, hey, if 355 people would pay me $700 to ALWAYS BE A WINNER, I could go on that trip to Europe next year - FORWARD PLANNING AND CUNNING THINKING, I HAS IT. Oh, God, I think I may be a Responsible Adult! *flails*)
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 11:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 11:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 11:34 am (UTC)(I suck at picking holes in arguments; my first instinct is to agree with everything that's said and then go away and think about it and come back later.)
And yeah, the definition of adulthood comes from, well, our parents. Who grew up in a completely different time, with a very different set of skills and expectations. So I spend 60% of my awake-but-not-at-work time in front of the computer, with the rest split between cooking, the gym, and either reading or socialising. And not "being responsible" - which, as I noted in my post, I don't even know what that would constitute. Parking myself in front of the TV and watching TV all night?
no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 01:24 pm (UTC)As a member of the generation ahead of you (I'm gen X, assuming you're gen Y), in some ways, I admire you. Your generation tends to be open minded about gender and sexual orientation issues. I think guys and girls are on more equal footing. I don't see many guys in your generation who would question doing housework, for example, and splitting time doing chores relating to kids. You have a lot less homophobia, and a more relaxed attitude about change and differences between people and cultures in general (probably because of greater exposure and access via technology).
But then... there is that whole responsibility thing. And entitlement issues. I don't know how many times I've just wanted to smack my nephew and point out to him that the world does not revolve around him. I wonder if having the world at his fingertips his entire life via the internet makes him feel like it DOES revolve around him. Push a button and so much can happen; it's almost too easy. If he lost his cell phone and computer, I wonder if he could survive and function as a human being. He expects to be rewarded for... just existing, as far as I can tell, and if you try to tell him that paying off his student loans is important, he just laughs it off. It's something that will magically happen in the future, evidently.
Sometimes I question the wisdom of raising an entire generation to believe that they are uniquely special, which is what our school systems seemed to do for many, many years. Everyone got a trophy; everyone got praise. Everyone was a success. But somewhere along the way, some good life lessons got missed, as well. About coping with adversity and failure. And taking responsibility for mistakes and actions. Adapting to the world, rather than the opposite.
I hope that doesn't sound too much like a rant, and, obviously I'm tossing out some gross generalizations. I know that going to school these days is no more of a picnic that it was when I did, and probably worse in many ways. (I never had to worry about someone shooting up the place).
But there is a difference in attitude between your generation and mine. I'm not saying if one is better than the other, just that the difference is there, and in some cases it annoys me, rightly or wrongly. :) In other ways, I approve.