is it possible to have an identity crisis at 28?

[seldear]

The guy at the computer next to mine stares at a screen no more than a foot away from his eyeballs. He hits the keys of his keyboard as though he holds a grudge against it, and his whole concentration is on the contents of the screen.

Sometimes I wonder how other people - 'normal' people - survive. Do they have creativity in them or is there nothing in them there? Do they ever question their lives and the work they do or am I the only one who does that? Am I the only one who fees the urge to do something else when I should be working, or am I the only one who gives in to the urge when it arises?

These are the questions that haunt me in my line of work - and always have. I can't give myself over to the programming - not wholly. My brain just doesn't work that way: it's skitters and flits, it doesn't plough. And yet the people around me seem to plough through the work as stolidly as oxen, never looking beyond the furrow - or if they do, its only to get back to their stall in the stable with the comfort of their hay and feedbox.

I don't know how they do it. I certainly can't.

I don't want to drag the plough behind me.

I don't want to walk in a straight line.

I don't want to miss the day because I'm too busy working in someone else's fields.

Basically, I need out of this industry sometime in the next few years. I need to find something that will make me money and which I enjoy. Because if I don't, at forty, I'll be just one more drone in the offices of the universe. And, frankly, that terrifies me.

I think I need chocolate

Comments

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

See, I'm motivated by the money too. And this makes money. I can't do it 12 months of the year, which is why the contracting is okay.

I just get distracted, too.

[yearbookie.livejournal.com]

I'm far younger and probably don't understand this well at all, but ... maybe it's just time and a bit of thinking to figure if this is what you're really wanting. I guess ultimately it would be worldly and ideal to have an occupation that's 100% gratifying, but that's like saying that we'll all be ultimately satisfied.

And haha, yeah chocolate'll help a little.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

And I forgot the chocolate! I'm all out! *runs around in circles screaming*

[suds-from-aus.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with realising you don't really enjoy (Or feel you can't continue it) your job. It just means you need to decide wether you're going to stick it out, or look for alternatives - there's certainly heaps of them out there. So many people go back to uni as mature age students now - 1/2 - 1/3 of my class were mature age.

I know my brother doesn't really enjoy his computing job. He wanted to quit uni in his last year, but instead decided to finish his degree - which was good, because it meant he and Mel could get married, and he can support them until she finished her degree and starts working. However, when she does finish her degree I have no doubt he'll get into some other sort of work.

What else do you enjoy or feel passionate about? The options are there. Don't be afraid to take them :) *hugs*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

What else do you enjoy or feel passionate about?

Writing. Storytelling. Creative stuff. Can you tell? *g*

[suds-from-aus.livejournal.com]

Oh no, NEVER would have noticed that ;)

[hyari.livejournal.com]

Quarterlife Crisis!

It has a name! It is a documented social phenomenon! So many exclamation marks and I don't know why!

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*smooches Hya*

Does that mean I'm up for a mid-life and a three-quarter life in future?

[angst-angel.livejournal.com]

{hugs} Hope all goes well for you, hon. *offers virtual chocolate*

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Mm...chocolater.

*hugs*

[aunty-pasta.livejournal.com]

*mwah!* *chocolate*

if it makes you feel better, I managed to piss off 2 journalists today :) (education editor & chief of staff of the courier mail) they think im really dumb now :D

rule #1 of PR spinning: actually know what you're talking about :D hehe.


if you find any flowers in the field, you can always press them and keep em for later :)

(channelling Oma is harder than it apppears...and the candle hasn't even been lit yet.)

much love tavern pedal wagon!
nicole.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

tavern pedal wagon!

I'm afraid to ask. *g*

*hugs*

[aunty-pasta.livejournal.com]

i've explained tavern pedal wagon already :D

sel -> to sell -> vehicle of selling -> pedal wagon -> also known as a tavern -> therefore, tavern pedal wagon .

its about as logical as half a piano :)

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Well, I forget!

So not going to ask. :)

[aunty-pasta.livejournal.com]

wha! okay then :)

have fun doing stuff :)

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

find something to do that you enjoy, because you have to spend a whole heaps of your life at work.

I'm reminded of what my teachers almost always wrotet on my report card:

"Selina is a talented, intelligente student who does reasonably well in her work and participates in class. If she would only apply herself to her studies, she would do considerably better."

I've got talent and intelligence...I just lack application. Always have.

Except when it comes to writing, I guess...

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

What do you enjoy doing? What do you *love* doing? The little things? What is your *passion*?

Writing. Inventing. Creating. Gardening. My ideal job is one where I get paid to write. Enough to make a living on.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon! Am already looking into it!

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Definitely!

[pixiesio.livejournal.com]

{{hugs}} You're not the only one hon. I do programming/web work, and while it's something I do well, I know that this is not what I want to do forever. Finding out what exactly it is that will make me happy while making me money...that's a toughie. Not to be a downer, but honestly, I don't know very many people personally who can say that that's a case for them. :(

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I've just been in here for 10 years and I know I want out, I just can't find a way!

[pixiesio.livejournal.com]

:( Wish I knew the magic solution, hon.

[sleekuk.livejournal.com]

Hey is there anything you could do which doesn't involve computers? I know that's your field and all but perhaps this could be time for a complete change...?

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I actually like computers and don't have a problem with them. I just don't want to be programming for the rest of my life because I've been in this kind of work for 10 years and never risen above a peon level (mostly because I've never been trying, but also because I don't have the inclination to do so).

I have kind of looked into changes. I'm just not sure how good those changes would be.

[sleekuk.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well I hoe you do find something out there which will give you job satisfaction :)

[divejunkie.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Have no other advise to offer, because I'm all out. Sorry. But I do have hugs and if you come visit I have chocolate...

*tempts sel*

[aunty-pasta.livejournal.com]

ooh! i know - paid to write creatively?

PR! (public relations) gotta be creative to get the journo's attention :D