mostly life

[seldear]

Moving On From The Elections by kyronae, for both sides.

--

The job is going okay, other than my tendency to want to occasionally check LJ or my email and being completely unable to. I suppose it's a natural progression: I've been drifting from most folks for the last year or so - the cancellation of Atlantis and the ignoring of Teyla by TPTB and fandom were pretty much the nails in my coffin as far as any online friendships go.

One of the things that I liked most about LJ in the beginning was the ability to hold conversations with people - community and conversation, not just random comments like Facebook, or fangirling like Blogger. I enjoyed being able to follow threads like a bulletin board with people who had their own usernames. And in the first few years, it was enjoyable. These days, most conversation seems limited and desultory: even if I answer back to someone's comment, people aren't generally interested in answering back. I guess I'm not a very interesting person when it comes down to it. But I kinda miss the days of big long threads of conversation.

I have a tendency to believe that I wasted the last seven years of my life in fandom. Fanfiction was never my goal, it's just where I accidentally ended up. I don't know if I have what it takes to write a novel and be published - especially not with every other fanficcer, LJer, etc. out there trying to be published, too. I suspect that most people are "smile and wave, boys, just smile and wave..." regarding my ambitions. You know? "Don't disturb the crazy lady, and don't meet her eye! Move on! Quickly!"

It doesn't help that my entry for a supernatural romance competition didn't even place in the top 20 (out of 33). The base fandom from which this competition was held was Twilight. Which is even less encouraging: I couldn't outwrite Twimoms?

Now I'm questioning if my current profic story has any value: there's been no explosions, no drama, someone's been kidnapped but we meet her after she's escaped, and after 40K words (somewhat padded, I suspect), the five main characters have only just come together. There's probably another 40K words about their upcoming adventures. But I don't want to start again, and part of me is hoping that this is just "writing as usual" where everything is hopeless and black.

NaNo is going slowly. I'm only at 6K of words, where I should be at 10. There'll hopefully be time today to catch up: there's a write-in in the city for about five hours. Using the extremely useful Write Or Die application generally gets me through my wordcount, and I like some of the segments I've been writing. I just don't know that it's coming together fast enough, though.

I guess that's what NaNoEdMo is about in January.

Other than that, today, I have a garden to plant out - the damned bush rats got my cucumber, pumpkin, and zucchini seeds the first time, but I think I've managed to sprout them without having them eaten.

I don't know how the poppy seedlings are faring...or where I'm going to plant them.

Comments

Re: rye grass

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Oats, yes; rye grass, no.

But a quick internets check shows that it's a cooler weather crop in the USA, so I imagine that we probably shouldn't be planting it in Sydney until autumn-wintertime.

[saramund.livejournal.com]

I look at it this way, hon (in regards to your writing) - if Anne Rice continued to get published as well as Laurell K Hamilton, then you've got NOTHING to worry about when it comes to your writing ability. You actually CARE about gramma, continuity and growth for your characters (and let's not get started on plot!). AND you are a very good writer IMO.

try not to get too stuck in the last seven years, but see it as a chance to develop your writing skills in an environment that was relatively safe.

As for the decline of lj coverstaions, I too have noticed it - however, I still use it for catch up with some flisties - the way email is used, I suppose.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

Have I ever said thanks for all your encouragement? So very much appreciated.

Oh, and could you and Chris take a photo of the quilt on your couch, front and back and send it along? Cats optional. ;)

[saramund.livejournal.com]

we will - we're just fixing up the missed bits first, then photo's will be sent!

and no thanks needed!

[meg-pat2000.livejournal.com]

I dont know where I wouldbe without the awesomeness of SELFIC.

You are an awesome writer, your fic alwayshad the best plots, the best development and the best outcomes. Iloved them all.

And even if you never get published, does it matter of it mkes you feel good to write. I know that i will never be a pro photographer, but i love doing it and it makes me feel good when people look at my pics and say aww thats pretty.

But your just awesome. IMHO anyway.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

It does matter, because I'd like to earn some extra money through writing. I'd love to make all my money through writing, but the chances of that...yeah, nope.

Yes, there's a satisfaction in writing fanfic that people think is good, but on the other hand, there's also a desire to have a broader audience - and, like I said, earn money from writing.

*hugs you*

Thanks for the encouragement.

[beatrice_otter]

In college, I wanted to be a professional science fiction writer. I wrote two novels, then got sidelined in fanfic, and for a while I felt guilty that I wasn't getting anything done on my original fiction, and felt like I had to justify my fanfic writing to my non-fannish friends. Then I realized that I didn't really care about the being published part--I just wanted to write. Being published is hard work, and supporting yourself with writing is even harder, and I realized it wasn't worth it to me. I'd rather write good quality fanfic, and have my stuff read as I write it, than struggle for years to make it professionally. It is no less fulfilling for me, and a heck of a lot less stressful. And I am called to do something else with my life--writing is my primary hobby, it's not my life.

YMMV, of course, but it might be interesting to ask yourself if you want to be a professional writer because it's what you really want or because of general social pressure that says writing is somehow less acceptable if you're not making money off it.

The nice thing about NaNo is that it doesn't matter if everything comes together as you write it, because that is what NaNoEdMo is for. NaNo's a great tool for people whose editing brains get in the way of their writing brains. (This is my problem with writing, if I can't get the phrasing I want I stop rather than just getting something on the screen and polishing it up later.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Thing is, writing is my life. I think in terms of stories, my memory is best in characters and plotlines, and I can almost never see or hear something without wondering how it could be turned into a story of some kind.

One of my mother's friends knows me well enough that when she catches me staring into space during dinner, she asks, "So, what story are you working on now, Sel?"

[slm76.livejournal.com]

I've never had the comments some folks get on LJ, so mostly I write for me. I can't recall the last time I had a really long conversation with someone on it. But it is a way for me to learn what's going on with my friends. How else do we all keep in touch?

As for the writing, it doesn't all have to be vampires and scifi. I'm reading very little like that these days. Most of the books I've borrowed from the library are Christian fiction. Fairly staid stuff, but popular.

My NaNo is also going slowly. I'm at less than 7000 and I don't even work! Chin up, girl. We'll get there yet :)

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I'd settle for long political conversations. Or long philosophical conversations. Or long conversations about nothing at all.

Vampires and sci-fi were just the genre of the challenge I entered. It's not what I always write about - although I do tend to write fantasy best.

[viralaserithan.livejournal.com]

Aww! You linked to me! I feel special. o.o

Please don't ever feel that your writing isn't wonderful. I know how disheartening it is to join a competition you feel you should be able to ace and have it fall flat, but the honest truth is that you are a very talented and skilled author. I have yet to read something of yours that isn't incredibly enjoyable. And you know how much I love your original fiction.

As for LJ... well, I remember those lovely long conversations as well. I never get any comments any more, short or long. And then I realized why. I don't angst anywhere near as much as I used to, and those angsty, emo posts were the only times my "friends" actually commented. So, as sad as it is to lose those, maybe it's not a bad sign.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

Heh. The thing is that I remember holding conversations with people over posts that weren't angsty or emo.

Politics, philosophy, even points of conversation on TV shows...there's not so much of that around anymore...

[gunhilda.livejournal.com]

I've seen publishing from inside and out, and, after a certain level of writing skill, getting published doesn't have to do with raw talent so much as luck, chemistry, and (in some cases) who you know. Talent helps... I mean, some writers are just brilliant, and it would be hard for anyone to deny that. But they're the exception rather than the rule.

You do have to have a degree of competence in writing, decent execution, a touch of creativity, and be lucky enough to send your work to an editor who happens to like your work at the time he or she reads it and needs it for a particular audience and/or market. But until your work meets its perfect match in an editor, it's not going to sell.

It's like dating. Two sides have to meet and fall in love. But just because you don't sell a story doesn't mean it's garbage. And just because it does sell doesn't mean it's a masterpiece. It's all very subjective.

You have a level of writing talent that could sell original fic. You have the skill and the originality and all the right tools. You just have to find the right editor at the right time with the right story. And, like dating, that isn't always an easy thing. But if that's a goal or a dream, you shouldn't give up on it because of self doubt.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

But until your work meets its perfect match in an editor, it's not going to sell.

Thanks. That helps. *wry smile* So did the pep talk.

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

I'm writing like crazy right now - trying to catch up on my NaNo Word Count - and I'm not sure that I'm tying everything together.

I would like to write the 'Twilight challenge' story I started someday - I've actually worked out quite a lot of the plot in my head over the last few days. But right now, I'm focused on NaNo and the Shadowkids.