the importance of tribe

[seldear]

I'm dealing with someone insidiously nasty at work. He makes small jibes of the kind that might be joking once or twice, but which never come with an apology.

Over time, such things build up, and there's also the risk that others in the office will take their cue from him. At least one person is showing such signs. Sadly, confrontation and reformation isn't an option with the ringleader, he'll just say I'm being too sensitive and make a joke of it - probably a gender-related one that's gently derogatory to women, because that's something else he does with clockwork regularity - and I'm fairly certain things would get worse.

Just to note: there's an essential difference between teasing and being mean. There's someone else in the office who walks the jokery line on the teasing side - and he apologises when he goes too far.

At any rate, it hit breaking point this afternoon. It was get out of the office or cry.

So I phoned saramund and we chatted for about 20mins, only the first few minutes of which were about the situation at work. And, God, I needed that conversation very badly - just something encouraging and familiar with a member of what jenndavis calls my "tribe".

I guess Miss Cornelia would have called it "of the race that knows Joseph", while Anne Shirley/Blythe would have called it "kindred spirits". They're simply people that you can laugh with, be silent with, be silly with, and with whom you can trust your heart.

Over the years, my tribe has changed as tribes do - members come, members go - some people drift to the outskirts, while others stay in the core. They're not defined by geographical location but by soul location - how close our spirits are.

I was so very grateful for saramund this afternoon, and I'm glad of those of my tribe who've been around when things were down as well as when they were up, and offered encouragement, prayers, and/or hugs as necessary.

Thanks, guys.

Comments

[seldearslj.livejournal.com]

That's probably the hardest thing: never knowing when an innocuous comment is going to be turned into a personal failing. There's a part of me that thinks that maybe I should just hunker down and shut up - but that's not me.

And, truthfully, he's saying the kind of things I used to say to myself when I was 16 - eg. my inner teenaged 'queen bee' bitch that went on about how I wasn't pretty or stylish or worth paying attention to (because I wasn't pretty or stylish) - and who I deliberately stopped listening to around the time I turned 24 because I realised I didn't need her spouting such shit at me.

*hugs* It was good to see you, too!